Last night my son got on the bus to travel to Pretoria and get his visa that will start his journey into adulthood.  Talking to him while we waited for the bus to show about what he can expect when traveling, what to look out for and general observations me and his stepdad made while traveling.  He was just like uhu, uummm, and I’ll remember.

The last thing I heard him say as he was walking to the bus was “Yessss”, as a beautiful young lady was spotted in the bus.  Watching as he disappeared into the bus I had to face some facts.

  1. He is not walking away from me, he is walking towards his destiny.
  2. It’s not the one leaving that feels the pain the most, it’s the one that stay behind.
  3. He will arrive in China and think of the people at home in a fleeting way.. and sometimes miss us terribly.  But, I will think of him every day, and miss him everyday.  Because I walk past his room, I see his friends in town, I know what he would have said in certain situations and most of all I’ll miss his presence in the house.
A little bit of nature to get me trough the day

I could not be more proud of him and I pray that I’ll be around to see the what he accomplish in his life.

Sidenote: My daughter decided to color her hair green for the holiday, and woke me by jumping on me this morning.  I can only thank God for giving me a daughter that knows what I need.  More about her later.


My Twilight Quest


“Childhood is not from birth to a certain age and at a certain age the child is grown and puts away childish things. Childhood is the kingdom where nobody dies.”
– Edna St. Vincent Millay

Today Monday the 27th November 2017 marks the day my first born son will be writing his last exam in school. Looking back I can not believe that I’m now the lady contemplating “empty nest syndrome”.  Luckily I still have one baby in the house.

My son started his life on 2 May 1999 on a Sunday afternoon. Even with me making all the possible “#mistakes” he turned out this great young man. He was brought into this world kicking and screaming with the help of an emergency Caesarean section – how did we ever bond. I breast fed him for a while and then he started drinking bottle – another bonding opportunity missed. He suffered from Asthma (we live in one of the driest parts of South Africa) all his live up until about his 7th birthday. When he was 4 his dad and and me decided to go our separate ways – now he will be scared for life for sure…

And this brings me to my point: You can only be the best mom you can be. I am by no means perfect or in control of everything that happens in my sons life. BUT I do the best I can to guide him to be the best he can be.  This I feel is my job as a mom, I need to be his mom, not his friend.  Friends come and go, but I need him to KNOW that I’m there, sometimes with a shared joke, sometimes with guidence and sometimes to listen without judgement.

Today as I watched him walk trough the School gates for the very last time as a student, I only felt pride in who he became.  He is leaving South Africa to teach in China in two weeks.  So sometimes being a mom is letting go and giving him all the opportunities possible to be the best person he can be.  To give him the freedom to follow his own path and make his own choices.

Me and my husband will be here for him always.  And even when we meet in other countries, we will be home.  We will share the rest of our lives with him.


My Twilight Quest